I refuse to be friend’s bridesmaid after she tried to ruin my relationship’

A woman has said she is refusing to be a bridesmaid for her friend because she has constantly tried to break up her relationship – and even set up a blind date with someone “more in her league”.

Sharing the story anonymously, the woman said she had once been close to the friend, referred to as Mary, but they grew apart a few years ago.

She said this was because the bride-to-be didn’t approve of her relationship, believing that her boyfriend, Jack, was ‘too good’ for her because he was good looking and comes from a wealthy background.

Things escalated to the point where Mary set up a blind date for the woman, saying that the man on the date was “more in her league” – and the woman was so offended that she backed out of the wedding and refused to be a bridesmaid.

Sharing the story on Reddit, the woman said: “My boyfriend, ‘Jack’, and I have been together for three and a half years. He’s a wonderful person, and there is no doubt in my mind that this is the man I want to marry, but Mary is under the impression that Jack is ‘too good for me’.

“Jack comes from a very wealthy background. His parents are certainly very wealthy; he was practically guaranteed a lavish life from the moment that he left the womb.

“This is in stark contrast to my childhood; I grew up in a low income neighbourhood, often wondering where my next meal was, or how I was gonna help pay the bills at a young age etc.

“I’m grateful and proud for where I am today. Jack is considered to be ‘conventionally attractive’, always looking like he should be on some magazine or billboard somewhere.

“Jack’s good looks and background have led Mary to believe that ‘Jack deserves better than me’, as, according to her, ‘there’s no way I could have pulled someone so attractive and rich’.”

The woman was offended but continued to be friends with Mary, and attended a meal with her, her fiancé, and one of his friends – on the premise that it was to organise aspects of the wedding.

The woman continued: “Mary invited me for lunch with her fiancé and his friend, ‘Gary’.

“From the moment I arrived, Mary and her fiancé were consumed in their own conversation, paying no attention to the both of us. It was fine, as Gary seemed to be a great lad with great chat. He asked me why I was single, and I told him that I was in a happy committed relationship.

“He was very taken aback by my answer. He told me that Mary had set up a blind, double-date of sorts for the both of us. I was very confused, and slightly angry, I didn’t want to be confrontational at lunch (especially in public) so I just carried on with the lunch.

“Luckily Gary wasn’t upset and ended up making a few jokes about the whole ordeal.

“I called Mary later on in the day and asked her a ton of questions about why she thought it was okay to do that.

“At first she tried to deny it, but then she tried to justify it by saying that ‘Gary is a man who’s more in my league’, and since he was also a groomsman, ‘we needed to get to know each other better’.”

The woman added that she was “shocked by her bluntness” and shared the story online to seek advice.

One person commented: “You should have dumped this ‘friend’ the minute she told you Jack was too good for you. Don’t let her change your mind.”

While a second added: “She sounds kind of jealous, but this conniving behaviour is insane. Be sure to block anymore flying monkeys coming your way about ‘just suck it up for the wedding’.”

And a third user said: “This girl is not your friend. She’s jealous your partner is good looking and well off. I would not only not be her bridesmaid but I also wouldn’t attend the wedding.

“She has no respect for your relationship. I would simply tell her fiancée that you stand by your decision and he should be questioning whether or not he wants to marry someone that acts that way.”

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